I am a people pleaser. I have been people pleasing my entire life. So much so that I used to deprive myself of my own happiness at the cost of making others happy. I used to beat myself up over conversations, over analyzing my choices and their responses, and wondering how I could have been better so they would like me more. I used to stay awake for HOURS replaying interactions with others and how I could have made the situation better.
It wasn’t healthy.
Nothing could have prepared me for the exhaustion, body aches, drastic routine changes, and pure LOVE that your first child brings.
I am a first time Mama to my sweet baby girl, Langley May, and I could not be happier.
We are so excited to announce that our little babe has arrived!! We welcomed a baby girl into this world Saturday, May 18th, 3:05am weighing 6lbs 1oz. Since we didn’t know if we were having a boy or girl, we had a few names ready, but when we finally met her face to face we knew she was a Langley May Kurceba. If you’re interested in what happens when you have a baby, here is Langley’s birth story.
“It takes a village to raise a child.”
…how about it also takes a village to support a woman growing a child?
I have been fortunate to receive so much support and education since publicly announcing my deteriorating mental health in first trimester. I now realize that had I sought help earlier, I likely would have felt much more “normal” about what I was going through and a lot less guilty/feeling down about my symptoms and emotions. Here are the people and activities that allowed me to truly enjoy the remainder of my pregnancy and helped inspire confidence and empowerment for my body and birth.
Medically, your first trimester of pregnancy is weeks 1-12, and second trimester is weeks 13-28, but I consider my second trimester starting at 20 weeks due to my experiences in First Trimester. I continued to feel the extreme fatigue, hormonal hardship, and a month of depression due to the overwhelming lack of control I had over my body, mind and energy. But suddenly around 20 weeks pregnant I felt a huge shift. Suddenly I felt like I had more energy to enjoy the things I love doing (like exercise and socializing), I started to crave healthier food choices such as vegetables and fruit (instead of just bread and cheese, which is great occasionally but not for every meal every day!), and I started to feel like more my happy self again. Continue reading
Since being pregnant for the first time, I have either switched many of my every day products to more natural alternatives or added products to aid in supporting my changing body. I did a ton of research on each product before purchasing, so I hope this helps others save some of that research time and helps your body too! Some of these products I’ll even continue to use after pregnancy because they’re healthy and make me feel so good. None of these are sponsored reviews, all are just things I love! Continue reading
I wanted to take a moment to recognize and discuss the weird things about pregnancy. Like the things that no one really publicly talks about and has you Google-ing and asking your doctor if these things are “normal”. Often the Google-ing resulted in me being scared into thinking I was having a miscarriage or some rare disease so I wanted to share some of my personal experiences incase you are going through the same. Keep in mind that I am NOT a doctor, and any concerns you have should be talked about with your’s, but hopefully some of my experiences can give you a little peace of mind.
It’s been fun sharing the news the last few weeks with friends and family, but I thought what better topic to announce and discuss on my blog. As most of you know from my past blog posts, my battles with fibroids, periods, fibroid surgery, and then a miscarriage have been a lot to handle. I had started to dislike as well as doubt my menstrual cycle and reproductive anatomy. My uterus had given me so much pain and loss over the course of two years that I just didn’t know if I wanted to be friends with my woman parts ever again. I hated my period, I hated my uterus, I hated my fibroids, and I hated that my body rejected a pregnancy.
Well…now I LOVE my female body and all my parts! Continue reading
Miscarriages are awful,
and they need to be talked about.
I had a miscarriage a few months ago in July 2018. Continue reading
We all desire relationships, jobs, goals, and changes in our lives, but sometimes we have to ask if these desires are what we actually need. Our imagination has a beautiful ability to make a future plan seem like the most incredible option, but maybe it isn’t the only option? Maybe if we stop focusing on the one thing we want, we’ll see that there are 10 different (just as amazing) paths we can more easily walk down.
I find that when I put a certain goal on a pedestal, I put up blinders to all other wonderful opportunities. And the goal on the pedestal is often so hard to reach, so challenging to climb to, and so resistant to offering me a hand, that I start to wonder, is this what I really want? Do we need to doubt ourselves, feel immense disappointment and frustration, and work unhappily for years for something that may in the end not even bring us the happiness we thought it would? For me there have been many noticeable moments Continue reading